Terrance and Phillip A to Z
by Bridge7112
Summary: 26 One shots about Canada's biggest stars since these two don't get enough love. Will be updated weekly.
1. A is for Accidents

If there was one thing the comedy star loved more than anything in the world it was an accident.

Not the deadly ones though, the simple accidents that seemed to occur daily like spilling milk or falling down the stairs. These situations were usually comedic if nobody was hurt and everything good in Terrance's life had come from an accident.

He himself was an accidental baby, but his parents always told him he was a happy accident, not that it made Terrance feel anymore loved. They never really appreciated their son no matter how happy and loving they tried to be on camera a few years later and he always felt as if they were disappointed in him.

He always thought he'd make a good poster child for the posters that say "Use Condoms." and sometimes he wished he'd been put up for adoption.

After that accident there was the accidental spilling of paint all over his soon to be best friend. It had started in the Canadian School for Gifted Babies which he'd actually worked hard to get into, no accidents there.

It had been arts and crafts and Terrance being a loner of the class had been sitting at a table by himself dipping his finger into paint and making pretty squiggles on the table, something he knew he'd get in trouble for later. He'd been so into his thoughts he hadn't noticed a blonde haired kid that had sat right next to him and was staring at Terrance's work with fascination.

"Hello." When the blonde had decided to make himself known Terrance had flinched from the voice and the result was knocking over the bright green paint he'd been working with, the watery mixture making a huge line for the blonde and he heard a surprised squeak from next to him.

He turned to see the blonde staring at a bright green shirt which had once been baby blue, and then the blonde's eyes had met his and the next thing Terrance knew bright purple paint was spattered onto his shirt. The other boy was looking at him with a smile on his face and in the next few seconds the two boys were laughing hysterically as if this had all been planned.

From there the two had refused to do anything separate and in time had become quite the hit in Canada. The next accident however would be the ones that changed their lives forever. The boys had always loved comedy and secretly the both loved hearing the other laugh so it was always important to find new material to earn the sweet giggles. The boy's favorite jokes were fart jokes, classic comedy that to them never honestly got old no matter how many times you used the joke over and over again.

It had been debut night on some American show and the two boys were trying their hardest to make the audience do something other than scream about how the boy's heads were flapping and how creepy their eyes looked. To Terrance it was annoying, but what he hated to see was how Phillip's face was growing bright red with anger who was annoyed that the people weren't taking the two seriously.

That's when Phillip let a little accident slip out.

Terrance knew the sound was embarrassing enough, but the smell was enough to make Terrance want to gag, the audience was lucky they weren't close enough to smell it.

That's when the laughter began, it wasn't mocking laughter it was the laughter both boys loved hearing come from one another. They shared a glance and then Terrance let one loose which earned even more laughter and the two boys smiled at one another.

That accident brought them so many things, money, a TV show, a hit movie, and one another. Even the accident of sleeping with Celine Deon proved beneficial to the two since afterwards Phillip had decided to show Terrance how he was better than some idiot who would whore herself out to Ugly Bob. Needless to say Terrance hadn't been able to walk for a week and the two had honestly never been closer.

When Sally was born it was another accident, yet on the days she spent with her father Phillip was caring and loving to her as if she was his own child and Terrance couldn't have been happier. He felt it was so obvious to the world that the two were together and he knew that was no accident.

Sadly however there had been an accident just that night which was why Terrance was sitting in a dimly lit waiting area alone as the love of his life was fighting for his life. it had been hours ago when Terrance had been leaving a meeting about the next show when he got the phone call. At first he suspected nothing out of the ordinary about Phillip's absence, Phillip was a little lazy and besides it was always fun to read him the new script just to hear him laughing.

His cell phone had begun ringing and he had blushed nervously as he realized he hadn't changed his ringtone from their duet Uncle Fucker which was earning him tons of stares and glares from the people around him, until of course they realized the star's identity and backed off. He clicked talk and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Oh if this was Scott again Terrance was going to kick his ass, the number was blocked so he figured Scott may have star 67'd him or whatever it was.

"Hello is this Terrance?" It was a scary serious voice, one that scared the man a bit.

"Yes, who is this?"

"I'm sorry to tell you but Phillip has been in a car accident." His heart dropped at that and it sank to the bottom of his chest when he heard "It's not looking too good." Once he got the address he'd ran the entire way there, to him it was much quicker than waiting in traffic.

He'd arrived and immediately questioned about Phillip where he'd learned Phillip had been hit by a drunk driver. Immediately anger had raged inside Terrance's chest and he found himself shaking, he wanted to kick that driver's ass like Phillip did when that six year old had called Terrance an idiot. Of course Phillip had gotten arrested but it was the thought that counted.

He was told Phillip was in surgery and he'd have to wait which was why he was now digging his fingers into the arms rests of the hospital waiting room's chair.

"Terrance?" When he heard his name called his head had snapped out only to see a doctor coated in blood looking at him. He'd felt himself go pale and walked forward, asking the question on his mind.

"Is Phillip ok?"

The doctor sighed, then gave Terrance and smile clapping his hand on his shoulder, "He's going to be fine, thought we lost him a few times but you're friends a real fighter, he's asking to see you."

Terrance didn't think twice about that and he soon found himself in a dimly lit room filled with beeps and other noises. He'd first gone to his friend's side, tears springing to his eyes as he saw the condition of Phillip. There were casts and bandages everywhere, the most eyes catching being the ones around his naked torso and his head, the beautiful blonde hair had to be gone now and Terrance mourned its loss. His lower half except for one leg in a cast was covered with a blanket and Phillip's eyes were closed as he let out soft noises which meant he was probably asleep.

Terrance grabbed a chair and dragged it as close to Phillip's bed as possible, the scraping noise of the chair causing Phillip to open his eyes.

"Terrance?" he asked softly and was rewarded with Terrance squeezing his hand.

"Hey guy." Terrance greeted making Phillip smile.

"I feel like shit."

"Well you look like it." said Terrance helpfully which earned him a glare which made him laugh to see that Phillip was still with him.

Phillip sighed, "So I guess I won't be doing the show for a while huh?"

"Well I'm sure the Americans won't mind, we'll just get replacement Phillip again." At that they both began laughing until Phillip winced from pain and the laughter died down.

Phillip pouted, "You didn't bring me any flowers?" he asked, "I nearly died and you didn't get me flowers?" Of course the words nearly died made Terrance want to cry again, but he simple smiled.

"Course I did guy, I got you two lips." And with that he began farting which caused them both to burst into laughter again.

Terrance loved accidents, not ones that hurt people of course, but the ones that brought him even closer to his best friend Phillip.


	2. B is for Broken

Phillip's eyes shot awake as he bolted up in his bed.

Yes his bed. He didn't share a bed with friend anymore because as of right now he was still trying to patch things up with Celine, trying to ignore the fact that she was sleeping with Ugly Bob right under his nose. Phillip had of course tried to be the good friend and tried to warn Terrance, yet the man wouldn't listen to the blonde stating that his best friend was only jealous. That much was true because Phillip was jealous but not of Terrance, it was Celine that held the pit of his anger. After all she got all of Terrance's affections, all of the subtle gestures Phillip seemed to notice that went unnoticed and ignored by the pop star.

However he wasn't worried about Celine right now, right now he'd had the nightmare again. He felt himself let one slip, however even that couldn't make a giggle escape from his lips since he was so frightened. It kept coming ever since their movie Asses of Fire debuted.

Nobody really remembered what happened during that time, for some reason it was a giant loop in time that nobody could recall.

However ever since that day Phillip would have a dream where he and Terrance were cornered by people. Then some kids would run up and act as a shield for them it was a nice gesture but it made him scoff now, how on earth did they think they could be a shield for two full grown men? He remembered being touched, not inappropriately but in a way that he couldn't move and he almost felt like crying. Then the worst thing to ever happen would happen.

His fists tightened their grip on the sheets as he remembered Terrance getting shot in the head, the blood running down his pale Canadian skin as Phillip screamed his name hoping it was some kind of joke and that his friend would fart and laugh it off, joking about how he'd scared Phillip.

When Phillip looked up however he was facing the gun and in seconds everything would go black.

He shivered slightly and found his body moving on its own accord and for once he didn't want to stop it. He stood up on wobbly feet and made his way towards his door, pushing it open with ease and trotting into the hallway. He heard soft giggles coming from his friend's room and he knew he shouldn't intrude but he just had to make sure Terrance was alright!

He threw open the door only to see Terrance sitting on his bed leaning against the headboard, fully dressed with their home phone in his hand. The boy glared slightly at Phillip before frowning deeply.

"Look Celine, I gotta go." there were whispers and Terrance hung up the phone. "What's the matter guy?" he asked with a hint of concern as he stood up. Phillip wondered how shaken he must've looked and in a second he had thrown himself at his costar nearly knocking them both to the ground. "Phillip! How many times must I tell you we're not gay?" It was a teasing gentle voice but as Phillip began to cry Terrance quieted. "Hey, what's wrong?" Terrance inquired, "Come on buddy you can tell me anything."

Realizing his leg were beginning to lock from standing with Phillip's extra weight he slid to the floor taking the blonde Canadian with him. He allowed the blonde to cry out his emotions and found himself gently stroking his hand through Phillip's pretty blonde hair; it was so much softer and prettier than his own hair. His other hand began to stroke the blonde's back with soft rubs and he gently began to soothe the worried blonde with soft words and promises that everything would be ok. Suddenly Terrance found himself emitting a small fart and as he was cursing himself for letting that escape he heard a soft giggle from his blonde which made him smile in return.

"So you feeling better guy?" asked Terrance and Phillip began wiping his eyes and seemed to be regaining the ability to speak which he had lost a while ago.

"Thanks buddy." said Phillip with a sniffle.

"Well you know what they say, a friend in need is a friend with Kraft dinner, speaking of which it looks like you could use some." Phillip nodded and allowed his friend to drag him to his feet, however he was unsteady to Terrance allowed him to lean on him making the blonde close his eyes and sigh happily. Even if Terrance would never be gay with him this was still nice and he felt like enjoying it while it lasted. Terrance glanced at his friend and sighed deeply putting a tired smile on his face as he led the duo into the kitchen, settling Phillip down in a chair while he began to cook, well not really cook just basically throw stuff into a pot but he called it cooking.

"So what's wrong?" asked Terrance as he leaned on the counter looking at Phillip.

Phillip sighed and whispered the words, "Well I had a nightmare."

"It wasn't about the redheaded bitch was it?" asked Terrance and Phillip froze, was Sheila Broflovski in the dream? The only reason the two friends knew about her was from when she had tried to cancel their show years ago. Was she the red monster that had pulled the trigger?

"Phillip?" The blonde snapped out of it and looked at Terrance.

"Well she was but that wasn't the scary part."

"How was that not the scary part?" asked Terrance as he began to drain the pasta seeing as it had cooked.

"You died." The blonde whispered causing the water to slosh slightly out of the pot and spill some of the precious macaroni outside the strainer's rim to be lost forever. He focused on the pasta for a moment however once the threat of being burned or losing any more precious noodles was gone he turned to Phillip.

"What?" he asked softly.

"You got shot in the head." said Phillip, pointing with his finger. "Right there." Terrance knew the spot Phillip was pointing to was his forehead and he frowned.

"And that's what got you so scared?" he asked and Phillip was slightly embarrassed to nod. Terrance frowned, "Oh Phillip look I'm right here."

"I know you are Terrance but it's always so real and if you were gone." The blonde stopped as tears threatened to fall from his eyes once more. Terrance walked over to the blonde and sat next to him, hugging his best friend and then surprising them both by giving him a slight kiss on the forehead. Phillip looked up in surprise and Terrance frowned with a regretful look,

"Let me guess this started after Celine and I got back together didn't it?" Now that he mentioned it the only reason Celine was back was because of the revenue from Asses of Fire. Phillip nodded, that had to be the reason since Terrance could have never died in real life. Terrance sighed, "Why didn't you tell me about this? I mean you could've just told me this instead of those lies about Ugly Bob."

Phillip wanted to interrupt that they weren't lies but allowed Terrance to continue.

"If it upsets you that much then maybe I should stop seeing her." At that Phillip's heart soared as he looked up at his friend.

"Really?"

"Of course guy, you always come first in my book, I mean where would I be without you?" asked Terrance. "You're my best friend." And with that Phillip wrapped his arm around Terrance until a familiar sound made the two stare.

"You had to ruin the moment, didn't you Terrance?"

"Sorry Phillip."


End file.
